2010

Transition. I didn't realize how horrible I would be at it or how much I would hate it until I went to college. I guess I had never really experienced it before I moved away for school. But, every time it comes around it sneaks up on me and in a way destroys my spirit. It is in those first few days home or back away that my heart does not know what to do.

This thing called transition has done a lot of things to me. I remember coming home for winter break freshman year wanting so eagerly to be home and then getting there and simple standing in my room not knowing what to do. I was stuck; I didn't know the next step. And then, I remember coming home from Colorado and wanting to be alone, but surrounded at the same time. I remember the tears flowing down my face as I cried over something completely irrelevant. That transition was handled the worst on my part. Instead of turning to those who cared about me or the True Comforter, I sat in my bed all day, depressed.

And here I sit, after coming home from Radiate and Passion2010 and I am beginning to sense the same feelings creeping back up. I am home for a week just enough time to get slightly attached so it hurts to leave. But, this time I am trying, for the first time in my year and half college experience to do this right. To live to the hilt every situation I believe to be the will of God. And let's just face it--you can't really live in this stage called transition. At least for me, when I am transition I find myself either looking and glorifying the past or longing for the future. I only have seven more days at home and not knowing what the next semester holds who knows when I will be back here.

I don't want to credit these next days to watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy or excessive sleeping, but living fully: drinking in the goodness of God, reading, deep conversations, praying, perfecting my french braiding skills, knitting, resting but not wasting.