fool

Sometimes, I think that I just completely miss the message of the Gospel. I have moments of intense joy and peace and in those moments I know what I am living for, who I am living for. But, more often than not I have moments when all I can think about is how I am going to get a new cardigan sweater from Anthropologie. I don't understand myself. Time and time again, I get the new cardigan and I am not satisfied. I may feel cute for a moment, but inevitably there will be someone that, in my opinion, looks cuter and then all that effort was wasted. But, in those moments of intense joy and peace, I have clarity and purpose. I know why I am on this earth and why nothing, literally, nothing else matters, except for the glory of God. But, then comes the new boots and jeans and all I can do is want more and more. I keep running after things that are disappointing. This makes me a fool. By definition, a fool is someone who continues to do the same thing over and over expecting different results like maybe this time these diamonds will make me feel beautiful.

The glitter does nothing for my heart.